Judging by the grocery store, everyone stocked up on frozen pizza and beer for the blizzard. If our generation ever faces doomsday, we'll go out smiling.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
You'd be surprised at the stuff my vagina tells my brain to say
I shall welcome him into my body with an open liver and completely lay down all chance of resistance. Sweet Zeus, please take me to Mt. Olympus and share all that is divine. I promise, the secrets will be safe with me
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
I should be free tonight unless my 5 speed vibrator arrives in the mail today, than we might have scheduling conflicts.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
So apparently last night while I was drunk I read him erotic fanfiction while he was eating me out. He stopped every now and then to give me feedback.
Holding your hair back while you puked wasn't a choice. I was handcuffed to you.
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
Just got a handjob in my psych lecture. You were right, going to class is paying off.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
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