The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I think my teeth are moving, they feel like people.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
three of my fingers are bleeding and the only thing on my phone rn is a google search of 'Allison Janney'
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
Randomize
