I woke up this morning and thought "Im sure I've seen this house in a porno" and instantly googlemapped myself
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I love seeing you outside of a bar. It's like seeing a dog walk on its hind legs
Almost thought it was a good idea to call his parents to thank them for having a son with an awesome dick. That high.
I'm also glad were at the point in our friendship where my vagina talking to you isn't weird
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
Randomize
