I'll trade you a raw potato for some vodka
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
Dude. He drives a mini. Therefore he's a virgin
Hes warming up week old McDonalds french fries, putting hot sauce on them, and counting them with his shirt off.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
It's hard to take you serious when you're crying your eyes out wearing an adult sized onesie.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
I'm not going to pass up the opportunity to be half naked and covered in glitter without facing judgement or legal prosecution. I'll be there.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
