So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
No, he's fine. He only wanted to know why there were traffic pylons in the living room and how the peanut butter got on the ceiling.
Why didn't I see you last night!?
We made out like 4 times....I think I saw you.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
He looked at me like he knew me, and I looked at him like I had seen his penis before.
Remember that whole "don't let me drink" thing? We should really start sticking to that.
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
Randomize
