nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
I was just hoping for a dick worthy of his established age.
Multiple bruises and a hell of a headache later, I have still to find out where the fuck I picked up the bottom half of a mannequin.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
Seriously, you just banged the guy that wishes his dog happy birthday on fb. That's fucking adorable!
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
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