He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
Every time I walk onto campus my Saint Patrick's day scar starts to throb. I'm like a drunken accident prone Harry Potter
How did I roll 7 times this month and survive?\nI must be some sort of ecstasy goddess
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
Remember that St. Patrick's Day when I fucked your married coworker in his truck and the whole bar was chanting for you "Don't fuck Mike"?! #TheLuckOfTheIrish 🍀
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
Randomize
