i already hear my dad disowning me
please pick me up with an explanation of why i shacked in a trailer with a guy who doesnt have a car.
Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
Her face just looks like a massive mistake. That's the only legitimate description I can say about it
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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