we might have left him a semi topless video on his wall. godd i just hope they suspend my accont so i stop doing thses things.....
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Through drunken recall, I have managed to bring back awful memories of losing my virginity. And possibly traumatized my niece trying to get her to "learn from my mistakes".
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
