at a bar with my ex girlfriend.. both men AND WOMEN are hitting on her.. and not one has even looked at me
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I think I must have activated my bat signal.... All three of my FWBs contacted me today!
Randomize
