I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
your ability to fuck hot guys even when you go out in sweats amazes me
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
You know you're hung over when the glare from the cream cheese on your bagel is just too bright...
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
The only thing he told me before he passed out was that he is from Buffalo and I'm a bitch.
He was like 120 lbs and 20 of that was penis
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Fuck my life he IS a stripper, Ive been sleeping with a stripper named Phoenix. damnit, I knew the sex was too good
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