"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
they could make at least 3 episode of "i shouldn't be alive" out of my weekend
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
i feel sorry for the hotel staff that makes the bed after we have sex
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
Got drunkdialed by my estranged mom while wallowing in pinkeye drinking 100 proof eating ramen alone. Year summed up perfectly.
I want to buy weed from this guy on Tinder but I'm not sure I should trust him...but it's free delivery
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
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