She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
just peed in the tub. didnt notice the passed out drunk guys there until a minute in
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
she said she was living bicuriously through me.
When I woke up everyone at the party was in their underwear. Only you guys were playing strip pong.
Yes, we all have the power to convince a large amount of people to take their clothes off
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
He told me that he had never gotten a blow job. I sat there for a second, then thought "I MUST FIX THIS!" It was fucking fantastic.
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
Randomize
