you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I was so high i started crying when i saw how much puppychow was there.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
All I ever do is give guys anxiety problems and flaccid penises.
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
