i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Molly wanted me to tell you, "she hasnt shit on the floor in a while" like she thinks its an accomplishment.
The reason i havent seen you yet better have huge tits
Getting stoned and going to costco. If i'm not back by dawn, you know what to do.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Please tell me that chemistry equipment is for chemistry and not for producing felonies.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
Randomize
