508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
I just caught myself doing the gator chomp to my tv. I need to get laid.
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
YOU HAVE BEEN BAD TOUCHED BY THE LEPRECHAUN OF CHOICES
My phone has started autocorrecting "monogamy" to "monogamish"
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Randomize
