Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
so we told my parents we were going trick or treating. got high as shit at some playground. and then bought our own candy so we looked legit when we got home.
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
THEY HAVE VIAGRA FLAVORED GELATO
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
HE WAS DRESSED LIKE A FISHERMAN AND HE WAS LIKE OH SHIT I THINK I JUST FOUND THE DEADLIEST CATCH i couldnt not go for it my honour compelled me
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
He made a group chat with him, his wife, & I. Is this really life!??
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