When we were fucking, you could hear the beer sloshing around in my stomach
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Took an impromptu nap on the floor of a starbucks bathroom using my backpack as a pillow. Please tell me you have been this hungover
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I hate waking up Sunday morning and thinks "how many friends did I lose last night".... Normally it's between 1-5.
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
There's Dick Pix, Zorro, and The Little Engine that Could. I nickname my fuck buddies for the exact same reason why you don't name animals which you will one day have for dinner.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
She put a shot in my mouth and then hit me with a pillow..
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
I better get weekly incoherent text messages or I will assume something is wrong.
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
I'm literally trying to cool beer down right now in my car by putting it on my floor and blasting cold air on it
Randomize
