i don't know how boys match. i think shoes & belt are the only thing. it doesn't matter. i just know if they look stupid.
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
So I cleaned the toilet last night at 2 am and woke up with pink eye. Never doing that again.
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
Just found a g string in our driveway, wtf happened this weekend?
When you see a guy in a wheelchair try to be cool and pop a wheelie, and then fall over backward and hit his head, is it funny or sad?
The guy at the door just stared only at my boobs and said "I'm gonna let you in." 'Merica
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
we watched a guy take a shot of tequila while riding a unicycle
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
Randomize
