oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He told me to pretend to be a shark, and he would slay me with his harpoon cock.
She posts like 3 statuses a day pleading for pity. Responding positively would be like giving a dog a treat for shitting on the floor.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Also I smoked away my sore throat last night. It's a 420 miracle.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Shit happens dude.
Shit doesn't just HAPPEN on the kitchen floor you asshole.
You took off your shirt and pulled out a bottle of cherry uv and a slushee. That's when I knew you came to party
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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