stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
I'm more concerned as to why he has a playlist entitled Dem Club Beats.
it's like, God thought about making her pretty then changed his mind at the last second
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I want to fling myself into the sun
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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