I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Next time when I try to seductively eat onion rings while drunk remind me of tonight.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Randomize
