Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Thank god for makeup because it looks like someone took a shit on my face
Can we just ponder our lives for a second.
No I think my brain may implode in a puff of cocaine and sparkles.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
Wonderful brian is stoned out of his mind, floating in a lawn chair in the hot tub eating a giant plate of macaroni and staring at the moon
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
lonely sunday drunk me decided to tweeze my pubes. HORRIBLE IDEA
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
Randomize
