Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
The only thing that would make my night better is if William Shatner came and read me a bedtime story.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
One minute you were celebrating, the next you were bleeding all over your Nikes.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
I can't remember what I did last night, but judging from the state of my hair I had a pretty good time.
Panties = found
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