I went out, and slept with my sunglasses on
I knew we should have skipped class earlier, my lab partner is drunk from last night and making up his own experiments.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
Call me when you get off. I have stories about black lesbians in jail begging to braid my hair...
The cop was more concerned with the syringes on the dash board than looking for the source of the smoke. Thank god for diabetes!
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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