She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
So apparently we dropped beers outside the apartment last night, and someone RETURNED them! Ha like what? I just walked out the front door to Christmas in a box on my doorstep.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It's like you're a magic genie of bad timing
You might call them booze related cuts, I call it "partying so hard you sweat blood"
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
We had a threesome and he gave us bottle rockets and a lamp for our apartment
On a scale of one to Harambe, how attached were you to your goldfish?
Teacher vividly described one of the times he did shrooms, sat down, sighed, and told everyone to go do drugs and let us out 15 minutes into class. I love community colleges
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
