Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
You started laughing mid-cry and when I asked you said, "my tears taste like vodka."
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
Randomize
