Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
she must wash her vagina with a dirtier vagina
not sure what i find more disconcerting, your text or the fact that i recognized that as a dane cook quote
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
I'm sitting next to some random guy in a gorilla suit drinking out of a bottle of vodka.
He's majoring in Religion
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
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