just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
on todays agenda: meeting with a life coach then going to the dollar store to buy batteries for my vibrator. clearly im still unemployed.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
They have a booking log online so i can just check that instead of call
Technology: making bailing your sister out easier since 2008
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
It was funny for a while but 3 days later I still can't walk and I've constructed a diaper-like contraption to hold the ice pack on my vagina.
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