Just got caught pissing on a plant in her room while she was in the shower first word out of my mouth were my bad
i think beer pong is the only time ive ever found a use for geometry
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
I probably should have cut it off when he started putting queso on my nipples, but within ten minutes I was a self-serve burrito bar.
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I'M NOT READY TO BE AB ADULT YET!!!
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
I rather not break my neck. It's hard to look sexy with a neck cast.
We did blind alcohol taste testing and she got 10 of 10. I'm in love.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Randomize
