u on campus? she just peed the bed i need to go
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I should have taken pre-gaming this lunch date more seriously.
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
Using the money underagers give me to buy this semesters books.. My mom would be so proud
So instead of going to meet her mom, I decided to jump out of her window which was about 1.5 stories off the ground. I'm alright, but I ended up meeting her mom anyway.
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
Randomize
