so i woke up on my toliet naked backwards. good night.
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
I'd rather plunge my eyes out than acknowledge being related to either of my brothers
Randomize
