bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
In my 8 am class there was a pack of birth control on the board with a note saying, "Some dude somewhere is unhappy."
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I totally straight up jacked your pants. I am so sorry.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Dude fuck drugs. It's 4am and I'm eating mushroom ravioli fantasizing about jumping on a trampoline
Let us rub each other in fish scales and become mermaids
honestly i've never been more attracted to you than when you threw up on my floor
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
Randomize
