So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
It's pouring out. I am cold, wet, and miserable.... Kind of reminds me of our sleepover last night.
one two three fourrrrnication!
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
I'm the only kid serving jury duty. And I'm the only one who may walk out of here in handcuffs for a warrant. I'm enabling these people to doubt America's youth once again.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
Apparently blazed enough to think that the sizzling meatballs in the pan were calling your name...Ssssteeeeeve
Woke up with two cats staring at me. One covered in puke thats giving me a look that says it might be my fault. Where am I? Come get me.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
what part of what i said meant "bring a bowl"
"bouncy castle"
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
In hindsight combining orgy Thursday with mystery drink madness was begging for failure
Also I'm eating leftovers with a pair of bullet removal forceps (unused) because I don't have a fork.
Randomize
