Dude, I totally just put a lit lighter to my hand for 10 seconds
How much beer did you get for it?
One ice cold coors, but those mountains lied
well when i got there she was attempting to stick the cat in her mouth.. so maybe you should go check on her
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
She's like a pop up book from hell.
I knew her barely 30 minutes before we got naked. This whole fraternity thing is starting to grow on me...
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
OMG WE ARE UP TO THREE MINORS WORKING HERE. I AM NOT READY FOR THIS MID LIFE CRISIS.
Randomize
