Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
She made the grapes disappear! ALL OF THEM!!!
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
All in all only spent $2 at the bar ln... Fucking love having a vagina
Sockward: that moment during sexytimes when you realize your socks are still on and you have no idea how to remove them in a non-awkward fashion.
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
I'm just going to assume my unresponsive booty calls are just preparing for the women's march tomorrow
Remember that time we were together? Yeah, I don't miss that.
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