Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
it was my 21st birthday. took an old mans walker so i could stay till last call. reasonable right?
I want Paula Dean to narrate shark week next year
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
He took me by the hand and ordered me to make him vodka soup.. I think I like him?
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
Randomize
