Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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