home. puking in laundry basket.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Why was I handcuffed to the roof?
It was easier then trying to explain why you couldn't fly
And then he proceeded to take my heartbeat, because apparently that tells him whether I was faking or not...
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
Rode my bike to work still drunk. Almost threw up on a camper while getting him out of his parents car.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
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