Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
I just need to actually convince myself that drunkenly having sex won't help me forget the last time I drunkenly had sex, it only makes the situation worse.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
I can feel my liver begging me to stop.
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
She actually was beyond drunk but she for some reason kept calling herself a demigod and made me drive her to a bookstore
When you're high, you dance like an injured velociraptor.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
Randomize
