Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
Dude its so hot it my room I can't jack off. Its gonna be a long summer.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
I'm trying on my bridesmaid dress so that I can determine what will need to be done to achieve getting fucked while wearing it.
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
Randomize
