Mel Gibson is dating a 24 year old
You're not Mel Gibson and I'm not 24.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
I'm so cold I just used my boobs to keep my face warm
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
Last night in my drunkenness I bought hurricane supplies which included a jug of wine and a bouquet of flowers. Apparently I'm going to woo Irene.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Vodka shot parachutes
Fucking utilizing a thrid story dorm room
you left me with this keg alone. this is on your hands
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
I asked him to make me two boxes of macaroni and cheese. That's like eight servings. How did I think that was an okay amount.
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
So if he doesn't show up do we eat his birthday cake? Because I'm stoned and wrestling is on. What's the proper protocol
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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