she is the female version of PC from the mac and pc commercials..i'll still hit tho
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
apparently the bartender would rather give me free shots than tell me that my whole nipple piercing was hanging out
I still havent gotten an apartment yet, so I crash random college parties...get so drunk and then sleep on their couch
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
She's doing hand stands on the train as I type. Idk if I'm impressed it embarrassed. Or turned on.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
While I was sneeking out of her apartment, there was a giant cage with a parrot in it. I half expected it to squak "hit and run...hit and run."
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
That kid singlehandedly fucked the breakup right out of me. I'm only hooking up with Millenials from here on out.
I lost a fight last night. By that I mean I head butt the bar and busted my lip open.
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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