You hook up with other guys, let him talk to other girls.
no
i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
