I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
The fact that he said "there's nothing wrong with being a raging drunk, just ask my mother." has me thinking that I have no positive role-models among my friends.
I wasn't a groupie because I didn't carry his guitar home
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I got inside last night via doggy door
you weren't there so I had to flirt with him on your behalf
Dear god my vagina.
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