we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
Giving my coworkers lap dances cuz it was my turn to decide our team bonding exercise. Go happy hour!
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Randomize
