We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
i stopped calling them hangovers and started calling mornings a long time ago.
You dont understand. she was my french AND spanish teacher. that's 2 kinds of freaky. i have to find her on facebook.
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I wanna take him on a special date, something that says I banged your brother but since he moved I want you
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
