dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just got arrested at PF changs. Happy New year, China
We were laughing at the passed out guy who had gone to sleep under the car in the McDonald's lot until we realized it was you.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
Does it make me a prostitute if I accepted a Life House concert ticket for giving this guy head?
No. It just means your good at giving head.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Another memory: We offered for a stranger to live in our house under the condition that he took the garbage out because it's a 'blue' job.
We are the best.
Ps. We need to take the garbage out.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
Just give me 5 advils and some sunglasses and I'll knock out on this couch no problem.
Randomize
