This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
when I sang my humps to you I meant it.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Did I hit my head yesterday? I have a bump on the back of it. Also I just want you to know that I don't blame you for me taking my bikini top off. If I want to be shirtless no man or woman on this earth can stop me.
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
I don't know what else is in your wedding gift, but I just pulled out a pair of handcuffs in front of her grandmother.
Also a whip and a blindfold. Don't be a bitch, enjoy it!
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Randomize
