If Andre Agassi did Crystal Meth, what was John McEnroe doing?
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
just passed out while on hold to see if i left my debit card at the bar last night.
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
is it fun? or sober?
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
