You don't get off work for this? I feel genuinely bad for you.
I'll have a beer when I get into the office. Yes, I hide beer in my work frige.
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
You're married and I'm going to make out with a stranger tonight. Isn't that weird? It's like a gap in the time space continium.
In my defense, I haven't stolen anyone's clothes yet.
Yeah, that's a plus.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
It's taking every bit of my restraint not to go to the store and buy chips and cake and like steal someone's dog. PMS is so weird.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
