dude. FULL moustache. it was like getting head from Tom Selleck
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Randomize
